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  • Managed Moments
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Managed Moments

Musings on health, mindfulness, wellness, and bad-assery by Deirdre.

Moment #5

8/24/2018

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I am tired.

Yesterday I went for a hike with my dogs and then went paddle boarding and then had dinner with friends. It was a good, fun day and today I am tired.

Today, I have the day off so I could rest…. in theory. But, I am not resting.
I have ridden my bike to the library in the heat of the day to return some books and write this post.

Growing up my mother was always “busy” doing something and she did not like to find me doing nothing. When she did she would always find something for me to do other than nothing.
​

I know this is why I feel like I can not just lie on the grass and look at the sky while my foster puppy chews sticks next to me. Someone might come along, catch me doing nothing and find something for me to do that I don’t want to do.

So, why am I here at the library?
​Let's go through the Thought Model...
Unmanaged Mind:
​Circumstance: I have the day off.
Thought: I have to get shit done today even though I just want to rest.
Feeling: Tired.
Action: Go to the library to write this post.
Result: Stare at the screen for 30 minutes before heading home… still tired.

Managed Mind:
Circumstance: I have the day off.
Thought: I want to rest.
Feeling: Tired.
Action: Lay under a tree and rest.
Result: Feel rejuvenated.


I really like how the Managed Mind worked out. 

This is a classic example of how circumstances in my childhood became a default setting in my brain causing me to act a certain way without any consciousness. The idea that I could spend an entire day lying under a tree resting is so very foreign to me. It is something other people get to do, not me.
However, I am a grown-ass woman.
I can do whatever I want.

If I want to lie under a tree all day, resting, I can. Any thoughts I have about that are my responsibility and mine alone.
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Moment #4

8/7/2018

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I have a serious online solitaire problem. Today, I am going for a bike ride with a friend and I found myself playing solitaire rather than writing this blog post.

As I was playing, loving and hating it at the same time, I decided to examine my thoughts.

Why was I playing solitaire rather than writing this post?

Because I only had an hour before I had to meet my friend and that isn’t enough time to write a post. Huh. That is what I was thinking?
While it is true I may not have enough time to write an entire post in an hour, I did have enough time to START writing a post.
This led me to look at why I think I have to write an entire blog post in one sitting.

My thought: because I may forget my train of thought and never finish it.

Both of these thoughts I can manage.

I can at least start a blog post in the time that I have available rather than wasting it playing yet another game of solitaire.

Both of these thoughts are not necessarily true.
I can absolutely finish a blog post in an hour. If I don’t I can leave it and come back and still have the general gist of the post.

Unmanaged Mind:
Circumstance: I have an hour before I have to go.
Thought: It’s not enough time to start and finish a blog post.
Emotion: Anxiety
Action: Play solitaire
Result: Blog posts never get written, I feel like a failure and never realize my full potential

Managed Mind: 
Circumstance: I have an hour before I have to go.
Thought: I can at least start a blog post.
Feeling: Motivated.
Action: Start and maybe even finish a blog post.
Result: Blog post gets written, I become a successful coach and change the world.
This is one of those times when I have to establish a new habit and that takes discipline and practice
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