Moment #1

Fire season has started here in SW Colorado. We are in an extreme drought which makes fires like the 416 Fire currently raging north of town inevitable.

The entire San Juan Forest is closed… to everyone for anything.

The in-town hiking trails are closed to everyone for anything.

I have been having to manage my mind like a BadAss for the past few days and thought I would let you in on the process.

Knowing something is inevitable and then living through it when it happens are two very different things.

I knew there were going to be fires this summer and I thought I was mentally prepared for it.

I was and I wasn’t.

Seeing the giant plumes of smoke fill the sky 15 miles away is one thing.

Not being able to go outside before noon every day because at night the smoke settles in our valley making air quality dangerous is another thing.

My logical brain telling me the forest needs to burn and this is just something we all have to deal with is one thing.

Having to change my normal routine and losing the use of my beloved trails is another.

When the announcement came yesterday that the trails were closed until further notice I cried.

As I was crying I was asking myself why I was crying.

I have not had to evacuate to the Middle School.

I have not had to deal with the potentiality of my home being burned down.

Why was I crying? What did I have to cry about?

This is where I began to manage my mind and honor myself like a BadAss.
I was crying because my morning hikes set the tone for my whole day.
I was crying for the possibility they would burn and the landscape I am so familiar with would be changed forever.

I was crying for the loss of the freedom to be out in nature whenever I want to be.

So I cried. I let myself feel the sadness and loss. I did not talk myself out of it.

I cried.

I processed.

When I was all cried out I sat and thought.
I thought about how I could change my perspective on this situation.

I thought about how I could see this as an opportunity to break out of my usual routine and experience something different.

I took my thoughts through the Thought Model.
Circumstance: The 416 Fire
Thought: This is ruining everything
Feeling: Sadness
Action: Going into victim mode
Result: Everything is ruined

Was everything ruined?
No, everything was just different.
Here is where I get to choose a different thought.
​
Circumstance: The 416 Fire
Thought: This is going to be challenging to get through
Feeling: Curiosity
Action: Shaking up my normal routine and trying new ways of doing things
Result: Empowerment.

This process was so very good for me.
I allowed myself to feel the sadness over what was happening.
I was able to see when I was about to go from feeling my sadness to going into victim mode.
I stopped short of going into victim mode and took a good look at my perspective.
I put my thoughts through the thought model and realized how I could change them in order to change my perspective.
I didn’t end up crying for days like a crazy person over something I had no control over.